I strive to be original
but sometimes this life
feels like my fathers sequel
and that's far from an insult.
I'm just not one for doing
what others have done
I've rejected every baton
others have tried to pass on.
But I can't escape inspiration
therefore i constantly face contradiction
Jay said on to the next one
but what if your loved ones wont move on.
What Jokes can I make
when I'm a joke myself
Rhymes allow my mind to delve
but the deeper I get
the more shallow I become
Gillian Welch said times the relevator
It's only later they see they've
fallen for a pretender
I'm not the same when on the stage
maybe my hunger for fame was a phase
suffering from striving for
underground king syndrome
who's name echoes in deep talks
and not small ones,
Big Daddy Kane, Pharaoh Monch,
Paul Foot, Gillian Welch, Madvillian
If I can't live for forever then at least
let my name be Legend, remembered.
And I'm not anywhere near famous
yet am already worried about a reputation
Maybe I'm not cut out for bright lights and red carpets
And then I whine again about not being "chosen"
I'm sick of myself for so many reasons
I'm sick of playing the vitctim,
complaining about not being able to find someone
when my phone has missed calls from good women
While I'm chasing missed moments that if where offered,
I'd probably not even want.
I'm not talking about television
when I say I have a borderline
crippling addiction to loose women.
Those who are the same as me
who's faults aren't concealed
but worn with honour and
screamed when free from sobriety
And I'm nowhere near as pretty as I used to be
Maybe because my face has change with this view i see
And that I don't look after me
I eat KFC when hungry
Drink whiskey when thirsty
Call her when lonely
She doesn't answer
because she knows me
I want to be with her only because
then I can be the old me
Before polar and comedy
When the future was a whole lot clearer
Just wanting to better the person I see in the mirror
Sometimes I forget what I try to live for.
To be better. A better son. A better friend.
A better brother. A better lover.
To stop striving to be old Sean or a new one.
But to be good now. I already feel better.