Thursday, 1 November 2012

Love don't live here anymore.

Foot prints on a cloud
it's the small things i see
that remind me
you're not around.
Hearing texts
I hold my breath
I bite my tongue
to stop myself

How many stand ups
have really stood up?
I can't gig anymore
it puts my back up.
looking at picture of deadpool
and when it rings I can't pick up.
you need help?
I'll have your back
if you take my hand
but if not I don't mind
I mean I do mind
I just know it doesn't sound nice,
to put insurance on a relationship
but the last time I followed my heart
I got lost with too much left
and not enough right.

I don't know what it'll take for you to
mellow my mind.

now theres not enough time
for me to love another and myself
and if theres one thing I've learnt
from the lovers that have left me burnt
is that you should always come first

ring ring, me.
I don't want to talk.
but could you talk to me?
It's not me. It's not you.
I mean it's not me.
It's you.

The first love.
there from the start
and I don't expect you to call
but like clockwork you do.
Don't ask me if I'm well
when we both know
you're the reason I'm not.

I've been through a few changes
that've involved blowing second chances.

a part of me knows we're meant to be
but I don't know in what capacity
no one should take up every memory
so quickly.

I don't miss her.
(I don't miss her)
Only, crave.
I feel like we get calm
in the eyes of our storms
I only escape the palpitations
when I'm with the person
I'm trying to escape from.

We're a rose royce song.
about love going wrong.
but even in poems
we're not as poetic.
I keep on wanting to finish
but we're never near done
and I've left everything that
reminds me of home
so I can't blame where I'm from.

You can't understand unless
you're trying to be a grown up
in the place you grew up in
and know this new you is different
to the man that was promised.
And each pavement slab you see
is a reminder on how you haven't.

I wanted to be a super hero
all I've got now is a bullshit ego
and texts in my drafts I can't let go
and drafts on my twitter
and buttons that hover over numbers
and phone calls I can't answer.
and parties I don't go to
because the only fuck ups I can handle
are the ones that are on my terms.