got bad to do

Phone calls and hang-ups and step toe and son re-runs.
rustling sheets lovely sandwiches and jackets as presents.

ripped-tights, made-teas, passive-aggressive arguments.

jokes. everywhere, museums new-books, cuddle, television

show-her-off parties shrugs roll-off the tongue insults

lots of drink being sick pale people warm-up breakfasts

eggs, bacon, mushrooms loving looks between menus
promises from eye contact that have one rush to the flat
stroked arms, resting heads denim daisy dukes removed
stretched stomachs in flips, smiles no longer reserved

old streets walked on spent in awe- but one's too fast

press-ups towards late-night runs to more aspirations

cold-shoulders no eye contact new looks no respect given

moonlit bodies slide with anger, train seats stare into space

inspiring work inspired from smiles laughing at them

all men that try to be something they're not, what we'll never be

no answers too scared to ask questions too proud for pain

far away looking back at yesterday try to find out what it meant

replay every event wanting another body that's heaven sent

golden green olive kisses mismatched lovers circumstances 

deal the blows take the pain, we eventually stand all the same

and if i had the choice yes i'd do it all again.

tv lights.

My fingers type away at a breakneck pace, the sound fills the room followed by a little laughter. a giggle. if you will.

i didn't anticipate this. you. here. but i did dream of it. what was most magical is that the moments we shared where never the ones i wrote. or what i thought what romance was. not pizza express but greggs, though there was a smile on your face the whole time. consequently that put a smile on mine. We're watching the wild bunch. your head is on a pillow that is on my lap. we haven't kissed yet. or confessed our need to connect. and your head is on a pillow. which is on my lap. You're beginning to fall asleep and I'm almost freaked out by how effortless this all is.

I walk you to your room and tuck you in, i could have made a move, maybe you would have welcomed it, but i didn't and weirdly enough I'm thankful for it because, I've never known courtship and evidently, despite my years watching disney,

I didn't know romance.

Another walk home now. I've lived on these streets for so long, yet, never felt admitted to the club of street-dwellers. trapped in bypass, constantly walking through and past, but truly my journey is living, but my journey is spent living the same thing. Tonight these streets see me walk slow, look up and take in the view with a new perspective, My mood is reflective, almost glad for my lonesome nights, in such a crowded space not enough hold out- just cash in but it's not worth it, if another could appreciate what her hand in mine meant, they'd understand why i walk with this slow-motion-skip in my step.

The body moves too fast for the mind to comprehend the situation, under covers our energy combined pumps an adrenaline so strong the bitten necks and pulled hair is painless and- enthusiastic legs wrapped round squeeze out hidden tears that fall on the skin you've longed for-for years. I close my eyes and when they open i lose my best friend forever, and i make a silent promise to make sure i don't fuck this up. Because i don't know much. but this is a lifestyle i could get used to, and it turns out i like to be touched.

Camden Morning.

was walking down camden town early saturday morning

observing the remains of what was a frantic friday night.

a shuffling drunk, fallen fried chicken and crushed cans,

an eerie stillness surrounds, looks cold, but don't feel so.

Leaving the flat of a girl i was once crazy for a year ago

Looking back i actually snuck out- we where drunk.

Not quite the way i wanted it to go down, but i guess it never is. 

London stories never end like they where written in hollywood,

London don't end the way you expect- that's why london's good.

She kissed me and i kissed her, 

i don't know what more i could have asked for.

a smile springs on my face wondering why i snuck out that door

and if she's awoken yet, or maybe she doesn't know i've left

maybe she's happy, maybe I've become another woman's regret

being a londoner it's probably the last thing i expect.

to my second best friend

drowning my sorrows at a party, her hair
becomes a lamp post, shinning a light
on a night that was so close to being lost
the kid drunkenly walks towards.
"This guy is not a threat"
the club was big but not in V.I.P.
after-work actors do extra acting off-stage it seems
jumping off sofas, rolling on the ground
really, like you're that drunk.
"Actually he's right I'm very unthreatening"



and turned it into a cross between
the best and the worst moments of my life.
for weeks on end you where a friend
then for about a year i was pretty sure
I'd never see you again.
but there was a return.
and life was never the same
we tried for a relationship that wasn't
a relationship. It was rather ridiculous,
you can't tell someone you love them
fuck them then turn around and introduce them
as "just a friend". it was bound to end
and end badly and end badly it did.
with many tears but only from one side
it seemed the love you gave was a lie
for i never saw you care to try
looking back, maybe i tried hard
enough for the both of us.
i put the winter months behind me
and tried with you too
but being without a thunderbolt
was something Lightfoot just couldn't do
it seemed like, to you
I've never been needed
but, i've learnt a few things since i was nineteen
and one is that not all things are as they seem
i think... i think i help. And...
yeah. Keep yourself good. be good. Nah. Keep good.
how do i put this? how do i tell you-you
you're what i think of when i think something right.
you're the light at the end of the tunnel
the smile someone would come home for
the eyes that make a hard life worthwhile
It's never been about the money
It's been about doing what you love
and sharing success with the people you love
and how can i bless if you're not flying with me?
like, flying above?
Like, looking like a dove?
looking good.
Looking like we should
in short,
the more you there is the happier I'll be.
read them. reach out. you'll never be denied
dude.

I couldn't if i tried.

Lazy sunday two

My lazy sundays there are a few
Before the sun rises into these eyes
I spare a thought for when this bed contained two
When I got out of bed early for you
Since the day I've only had a pillow to hold on to
I remember the hungover states
Walking slowly to the cafe to put grease on our plates
trading glances through glasses
feeling full up and recovered we go back to the bed
not to sleep but love instead
slow motion kisses building to powerful movements
her held-breath-sigh turns into a belated cry

Truly on those lazy sundays I did the most
Now on these lazy sundays i find it hard to cope.
This bed is a cocoon. A womb. Behold a man reborn
call me lightfoot my name is no longer Sean.
Because I keep on moving no matter what
Because the world will be mine quick when i get the shot
Because no man can run faster from any situation
(even when not moving)
I left with the excuse "I'm a young man understand"
and i know it wasn't fair, how could you understand
when not even I could? Nowadays I hope you're happy
and your lazy sundays are filled with love, eggs and tea
at the same time... I pray to the lord for you miss me.
My lazy sundays where the best days.
but that happiness, to be real, was just a phase.

upon a kiss.

a williamsburg evening
a poetry reading
and those words that
did delcare
my dispair, she,
left them for the air
the parisian
the hardness of her
the softness within
rolling warmth
nothing to do,
but fall in

(Really though
she was pretty i mean.. really really truly.
so much so i don't think i've ever
had a girl like her.
those jeans. that hair. even the jumper!
a night where life gets, better
you feel, stronger
to the point that
those lonely nights before
where worth it
like i had to take that road
in order to deserve it)

starts, a joke, a dare
wondering how far one would go
and then laughter died
upon a kiss,
and the smile remained
yet changed
moved from polite laughter boulevard
to satisfied hunger drive for
another, she wrapped
unfolded to her
entrances. passes. hands
on riding chests- some -
screaming mess as hair
swooshed(!) in a sweaty manner, wrangled n' pushed
upon.
upon I
while the lay-laying
on my words of despair
though true, (well it was true once-
every lie has been
(upon I. ) once
upon her. )
shaking greenpoint Y
Manhattan outside
the skyline was
upon I was
upon she
was upon my words
the words

World circle 2.

LOVED
LOST
LEARNT
 
LOVED.
Every second of it
I've loved the looks that were given
the texts that were sent
the in jokes that were said
Only for me were they meant
Loved the beautiful face
That contained
the beautiful lips
And loved the beautiful lips
That contained
the beautiful smile
Loved her hips, arms, legs
And stomach
That contained
Her beautiful bile
The eyes were something to shout out about
The type of ones that don't hit you
but the ones that when looked
You can only fall into
Hours spent as
those eyes you search
And swim through
Loved.
Loved making love
Loving someone who loves you
You'll find it's the best thing you can do
Especially when you do it for a whole weekend.
the hair:
fair, long 'n' bronze
Light never bounced
But absorbed like a sponge
And was gently released
Through the glow that came from her skin
And always warmed me
No matter what condition I was in
Always funny
Awoke my grin
knew me well
Never overtly sexual
But always sexy
Not afraid to be adventurous
But always a lady
She was my honey my lady my coolest baby
Every song about love no matter how corny
Suddenly became a symphony
Gave me a feeling that this world was meant for me
Like we'd be together for an eternity
Yeah, this was the feeling. I knew it.
I had fallen in love.
How foolish a young man can be.
'Cos when I recognized
She no longer felt the same for me
I realized I couldn't fall for an eternity
Man I hit the ground hard
And I will be feeling that pain
Eternally
 
LOVED
LOST
LEARNT.
 
LOST
And what did I lose?
I lost it all.
 
LOVE
LOST
LEARNT
 
LEARNT.
I learnt to never trust red heads
Or women in general, at that.
I learnt you're not a man until
You're hurt by a woman.*
Learnt to conserve emotions
And conservatively converse
Making sure the truth never comes first
Strong barriers must be built up
So confidence can't get knocked down
Learnt why I see few are happy grown up
And in life you will always be let down.
Learnt that there's no point in trying
because if you tell yourself you're gonna be happy
You'll only be lying
Learnt that you'll probably
Be alone when dying
Aspiring means perspiring and why do that
When doing it for no one?
You're doing it for nothing.
 
Learnt
Learnt that women will be needed
But needing them for only one feeling
Is a lot better way of dealing
Someone hurt her
So she hurt me
So I hurt more
A viscous cycle of pain
That after Joining
I'm only happy to play the game
I assumed it was only natural
After all
Even the world
Turns in a circle
 
And time went by
And I stayed the same.
 
Learnt
On one particular day
When going to a girls
For a lay
She opened the door for me quick
And gave me a wide smile I never asked for
Wearing nice clothes I couldn't care for
She greeted me as if it was
Her personality I had come for
And looked at me as if
I was the one who had fair, long 'n' bronze hair
And she looked in my eyes as if
She was lost in them
As if when I wasn't looking
She had swum through them
And for the first time in a while I was reminded of
Myself, four years ago
And remembered, not the loss
But the love I had been through.
I held that girl tight that night.
 
Learnt
That if I had the chance to go through it all again I would
Because the bad times could never outweigh the good.
And yes, Though young love can often bring loss with it
Know in our heart of hearts we welcome it
As when it comes to ----
Any pain is worth it.
That's what I've learnt.

Short skirt blues.

I've climbed the highest mountain

I've swum in every river 

but when i see you in that short skirt girl, 

I can't help but shiver  

I got the short skirt blues, oh lord 

I got the short skirt blues 

I see you in that short skirt girl

and there ain't nothin' that i can do  

I've slept a thousand nights

dreamin' of you by my side

only you in that short skirt girl

could make me satisfied

I got the short skirt blues, oh lord

I got the short skirt blues

i see you in that short skirt girl

and there ain't nothin i can do

I don't think you understand

no one can love you like i can

now come on you short skirt baby

let me be your man

I got the short skirt blues, oh lord

I got the short skirt blues

I got the short skirt blues

and there aint' nothin' I can do

girl it's so small and tight

makes a man feel just right

so come on short skirt honey

love me one more night

I got the short skirt blues, oh lord

I got the short skirt blues

I got the short skirt blues

and there aint' nothin' that I can do

You know that short skirt drives me crazy

makes my head spin, round and round

you know I'd love your short skirt

even more if it was on the ground.

I got the short skirt blues, oh lord

I got the short skirt blues

I got the short skirt blues

because there aint' nothin' that I can do

White knight of light

Your warmth brings me forward
My heart beats
In my arms you become weak
To stretch bent neck legs arch
Garments:
Torn apart
Dressed in moonlight
Look down, our noses
touch
Eyes meet
Know where it’s gone going and we
We have only just begun
Each kiss as if it's the first and last one
Constantly inhaling taking sharing
Each breath from each others lungs
Those delicate fingers crunch
Your eyes close and the smile no one gets to see-
Apart from me-
Is revealed and (has
More beauty, than all poetry;
No words are worthy)
Beneath the eyelids see;
Each curve kissed caressed
Heart thumping inside your chest
Panting breathing heavy unable
To neither commune nor kiss
This bliss
Such beauty unmatched
An unbreakable being a beautiful thing
bend not snapped
pulled hair lip bitten back collapsed
Change and
                    Tumble
                          and Roll and
Hips swerve, dip
Like nothing before
Gentle, you’re so gentle
Sweeter than perceived
More innocent than believed
For there is no sin
in awakening an overslept grin
you I believe in flesh more than skin
win strong no longer thin
taken to places my body hasn't been
and then, fin.
Again eyes meet
Laughter received
Both so relieved
And hug
Hold
“This is nice”
“it doesn’t get any better”
“This is the best. the best ever”
"Forever."