Every full moon
my penis becomes a werewolf
that howls for you
He runs down the road
like an angry segway
eyeing out other dickheads to fight
what you lookin' at?
what you lookin' at?
what you lookin' at?
Dickhead.
He howls for you
and eats donner kebabs
and prank calls mini cabs
barks at short skirts
gets kicked out of strip clubs
and when listening to rap music
says the N-word.
For realz.
He roams all of central london
and in the streets throws tantrums,
swims in trafalgar square fountains,
dunks people heads in after
luring people into thinking he's a dolphin
at comedy clubs he heckles comedians,
who say "we've got a right dick in the audience"
and he says "yeah. I am" and he comedian says
"Oh. Wow. Yeah. You really are"
and he then forgets all of his jokes.
he pushes over statue men in covent garden,
and when asked why he says it's because they ignored him
and bumps and grinds at student club nights
and after he's used up all of his freedom
he still hasn't got anyones attention.
Now it's oxford street, four in the morning.
what are you looking at?
you lookin at me mate
walk on, walk on.
dickhead.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
he can't sleep yet
he howls
and barks
and huffs
and puffs
and screams
and he feels his skin
catching fire
but no doors open
no houses come down.
i find him the next morning
silent and strong.
