Saturday, 21 May 2011

Year three.

I'm trying. i really am. I'm not going to say I tried.
I think there's a difference between saying you're trying and have tried.
It's hard to accept, it's something so small, but it's left this huge hole inside of me
like, i lost this secret and it was the best secret i ever had, and it was treasured
never told, and now she's gone and they don't know why I've changed.

Doing. we need to know what to do. whether there's more to do than this
endless drinks, every week we're in a new place. but it's always the same
i always reflect. surprised at how sad i look when i see myself. not that I'm happy
but i think that i could hide it. i don't want to admit to being depressed, i don't know what it is, i don't know if i felt love, i don't know, they say when you feel it you know, i felt something, my heart jumped and all- i- felt the symptoms but lost out on living the cliches.