Saturday, 6 November 2010

all of me

"How much do you have to give before you get some back?"
if that's your attitude you shouldn't give in the first place.
I'm no longer the beautiful boy, thinner frame, bags under eyes, it's a face tired
since removing a mask.
A facade can't last when you can't get past your past
meaning your present is filled with resentment towards those born with blessings
keep the rage-in when they're complaining, wanting to tell them they don't know what pain is.
But what about me? have I? Do i?
I've lived on the heads and the tails
depending what days i'd see either parents
I only saw the beauty in what was
after the old world crumbled
Now i hug a little too hard
hanging on to moments a little too long
but when trying to revive what's gone
you may also lose the pot of gold you're on
i can't not let you know how it is
not that "if tomorrow i don't live"
more like i don't want to get too comfortable
in the status quo, i merely exist if i don't grow
I don't know how much your smile is worth
but no matter how broke i can afford to let mine show
been hurt in the past, but what man hasn't?
it knocked me down for a little too long
and my poetry became a little self indulgent
and then got a little tired of my little mindedness
now i love to run stages and train like it's a sport
who would have thought- actually, looking back,
a lot. Despite a confession of being self-conscious,
i never noticed i was the one to watch and when i thought
my voice was lost it was then more than ever
i was in others ear-shot
now there's love at my back and i can't stop
in fear that i'll be enveloped, some wish me to trip-up
good luck, I may fall for it
but rest assured, i always fall forward
too committed to forfeit
too effortless to force it
fuck the porches
to my destiny i moonwalked
i'd rather die in my cockpit
than arrive safely in a passenger seat
It took me a while but I'm finally in charge of my destiny
and if i die without ever making a penny
at least i know i lived the way i wanted to
giving myself to all of you.
Or whoever has the time to listen.