My whole life I've gone with the flow
now it's time to come up with my own
and honestly it's a daunting position
easy to shout when being ignored
now i have to pick words wisely
because i know I'm being watched
by peers, mentors and old lovers,
depending on the outcome
i may be receiving once craved propositions
Though it's a temptation i only got to where i am
by not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks
now the dreams i gave up on are dangled in front of me
can i grab a quick save? I don't know what game to play
an ending, or is there something bigger out there for me
weird when a motivation gets relegated to a distraction
In my darkest moments She becomes my salvation
but I always wind up feeling awkward when i should be content
too cautious with every step i take, wanting my life to be perfect
Then Tempest quoted Blake who once said:
"you never know what enough is unless
you know what is more than enough"
a harsh truth when you realise how long you lived on assumptions
judgements on whoever stands and is brave enough to be them
while you sit alone with everyone, too scared to be you
I've been down and laughed with those still on that route
Sometimes lives are picked out for you and it's hard to realise
that you get to choose the life you want to live.
I was good at fitting in, even from myself i was hid
so hidden i didn't even notice how far away from myself i had drifted
When words came it wasn't something i planned on escaping with
to be perfectly honest i really didn't think anyone had noticed
but they did. and I'm here. hello mum, and everyone.
the life i live now wasn't so much a realisation, that "this is who i am"
it was always me, I didn't choose, there was no epiphany, no complication
i went with a flow i didn't question. now I'm asked to come up with something
and need to bottle who i am to a select few tracks, i need the definition of myself
and my goal is to always grow, and i hate the fact I'm giving people an product unfinished
but i guess that's what standing out is, we'll never be wholly unblemished
and when we have received the answers to all out questions wont our lives be finished?
my spectacle is my untimely growth, and i hope it's a fantastic show
ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sean Cody Mahoney flow.
It's all i knew, even when i didn't know.