Friday, 19 October 2012

I miss my friend.

Give a girl your heart
but don't get angry at her when she breaks it.
It's like a comedian taking compliments for being brave
and then blames the audience when he gets booed offstage
a boxer doesn't complain when he gets hit
don't enter the game if you don't know how to play it
I saw you and instantly wanted to know more
friends told me to stay away
said I didn't know the score
all I saw was the figure eights
in everything you wore,
All you ever talked of was
the men that came before
you'd sleep with a man
and it'd tear me apart
so I'd sleep with two women
and tell you. You'd laugh.

You can't get a grip
here's my heart.
Don't feel like a git
because you let it slip
we can't choose who we fall in love with
That's a pain I've felt before
a pain I can deal with
It's what you did afterwards
that makes me feel different
that's a pain that's new
has me avoiding places we went to
avoiding friends we call mutual

I still don't want to make it clear
that I don't hate you
If only for the reason that
I don't want to give anything to you.
I only hate this situation
and how you've defined yourself too soon.

I lost two best friends to that one night stand

Him a best man
you a not so much next girl
but watch dvd box sets
talk about my ex girl
go to bed and how our toes curl

sorry for rhyming girl with girl
I know you wouldn't improve
I hope you never have to write
a love poem for a better writer
than you.

I'm getting off track.
I heard tangents are good.

It's my fault for not manning up
For not telling you I was in love
you'd sleep around and I'd just watch
I slept with twenty women last summer
just to get over your touch

Tried racking up points to build up confidence
then you went and slept with my confidant
truth is, it was never about the score, but the goal.

It's football with playground rules
no free-kicks or throw-ins
it gets kicked out
opportunity is for the one who can run
as long as you're single,
you can have whatever you want.

I knew that
didn't think it would hurt
or hurt this much
now at parties we're
right next to each other
with a grand canyon
filled with apologies and confessions
we don't know how to say that
separates us.

And the rubies know I'm always happy to go on first
but this time, I can't be the one to jump
and I don't want her to either
because she misses me as a friend
and I miss the chance of having what could have been
what could have been is always beautiful
people still thought we were just each others jump off

that's cool. They can think what they want
I just wish we never believed them
Woke up five ours ago
went for a run, checked the time
nine am. I miss my friend.

And it's a shame
that this has to be how it ends
knowing that we've regressed

Who goes from secrets to small talk.
It stresses me out
I've kept a lid on myself for so long
I don't even know what I'm trying to
stop coming from my mouth
Were never going to talk again
and if we ever do
it'll only be through this pen
nothing to say to you
other than it's 12 o'clock
and I miss my friend.