Sunday, 17 April 2011

lights please.

We're settled in,
in a way thats unsettling,
How it reminds me of a situation
that i keep thinking i've forgotten.
It's wanting the contradiction,
falling into the love you shouldn't let in
The sweetness has me weakened.
we're hammered to break barriers.
I don't know what we're doing
until we're doing it and then,
we tell each other to not do it again.
and again. And again. And again.
Honestly I'd do it forever if i could
but we never seem to go from
where we are to what becomes
in the topics of conversation.

It's part of the routine now, I suppose.
A few drinks to excuse our
actions, and when we get home I know
we're not going to kiss until
the lights are off and our eyes are closed.

I could be disposed of and replaced
in the dark and i wonder if you'd know.
I'm scared of asking in case it's true,
i freak out at the idea of being used-
every time. would you get it if i left?
am i more than a friend when in your bed?
is what I'm writing not to be questioned?
no one ever told me to live in the moment.
I break and analyse the situation
in a quest for atonement, fix what went wrong.
I've been too far gone for far too long,
We can't escape from playing to the same song
I'm deaf to every other musician and instrument
only you know how hard it is for me to get intimate.
step back though we both need to breathe for a minute.
I might fuck this up. But if we never went out,
how could we ever break up?
It's the spaces in between that define who we are
All i want to do is fill every crack in your broken heart.
my bed isn't kept empty, not when it has me.
It isn't kept pristine either, it has me ashamed when you come over
and i hate it when you say you have to leave
you've got my room cleaned, and sheets changed.
I guess I'm catching feelings, don't know how i caught them.
If i took them from someone else, maybe to "take" is the right route.
It seems to be what other dudes do, some people don't let lovers choose
I don't want to give you that choice because I know what you'd say.
So i'll order another round and avoid conversation on what we'll do,
When we can't believe that they've closed the tubes
and you'll stay over because there's no other route
and i'll take what i can because I'm in love with you.
I'll play any role in your life, whether as a friend or a man to use.
Not that i feel used. It's magic, what you do, i mean it feels good.
I just think i need some time away, i know that if you talked back right now.
It's exactly what you'd say. Step back young one. You need to breathe a minute.
I can't really complain though when I'm so close, it'd just, mean a lot
for you to take me as i am, not with the lights off, and your eyes closed.